Cell: (+91) 94860 17700

Between 10am - 6pm IST only 

Ketti, The Nilgiris

Tamil Nadu, India

bindiya.murgai@gmail.com

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FAQs

Please browse through the Frequently Asked Questions. If you have a query that's not here, feel free to email me and I'll answer it for you.
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EVERY QUEST BEGINS WITH A QUESTION. WHAT'S YOURS?

Ancient Proverb

FAQs have been clubbed into categories for your ease and convenience.

 

 

COUNSELLING

How will counselling help me?

Counselling creates a better and deeper understanding of yourself and perspective of the world around you. It reduces stress, anguish, trauma and grief by making you better adjusted and empowering you with effective coping skills. It provides an opportunity to vent your feelings, analyze the positive & negative aspects of your situation in a relaxed and objective manner. You can then discuss problems and to explore relaistic solutions without any threat of being judged or ridiculed.

 ​

How is counselling different from Life Coaching?

Counselling deals with healing pain, trauma, anguish, depression, dysfunction and conflict within you. The focus lies heavily on resolving difficulties that arose in the past, and the impact they have on your present life. Life Coaching is purely future oriented, with the main focus being setting and achieving personal or professional goals.   

 

What  are some of the issues for which people commonly seek counselling ?

It’s important to understand that each person’s problems and counselling needs are unique to them. People seek counseling for a vast variety of reasons. Some common areas include (but are in no way restricted to) relationships, grief, trauma, divorce, depression, sexuality, abuse, low self esteem, and a slew of other personal problems.

 

Is counselling confidential?

Counselling is completely confidential. Everything you reveal or share during your session will remain between you and me. It will never discussed or shared with anyone. In fact, even in case you bump into me outside of the sessions, I shall not initiate contact or coversation with you. The choice of doing so is all yours and you are under no obligation. This is to ensure that you, as my client, are never in an awkward or uncomfortable situation. 


The extraordinary exceptions are if the client is a minor (below 18 years), a victim of a serious crime, reported as missing or attempts suicide, part of a major criminal activity that has not been reported, threat to national security or if required by a court of law - for example, when the client's records have been requested for a court case. 

How does condidentiality work in case of minors?

I shall have a a post-session debriefing with the parents/ guardian . The contents of the debriefing are discussed before hand with the client (the minor). Please note that in this case, I shall exercise my own powers of judgment and discretion to decide what information is shared with the parent/ guardian. In certain cases, like where abuse is involved, I may decide against sharing any information with the parent/ guardian, especially if they perpetrating abuse. I may then request the involvement of a third party, such as a close relative or friend. 

 

How do counselling sessions work?

 Counseling sessions can be conducted in person, face-to-face with me. Or via phone, Skype or FaceTime. If you are exploring the second option, please ensure that you have a private and secure environment during the session. It's important for you to be able to talk freely, without fear and apprehension. 

How many sessions will I need?

The number of sessions a person needs depends on each individual’s unique requirements. The time frame and process is flexible. A common avaerage is between 8 to 12 sessions, but it all depends on the nature of the individual and complexity of the issues. Several clients chose to stay in "maintaince therapy" which means that they continue with fewer sessions at regular intervals. This helps ensure that the progress continues steadily, on a sustained basis and any new issues are caught before they become large problems. 

COUPLES COUNSELLING

How do we determine if we need couples counselling?

Take an honest and truthful look at the state of your relationship. Evaluate your overall level of happiness, peace, and satisfaction. If you find that you aren't happy with your partner, if you argue more than you talk, feel daily or frequent stress, find yourself lying, bullying, feeling intimidated, or avoiding your partner, it may be time to consider marriage or relationship counselling. We will work together to help you get to the bottom of your problem, and find agreeable and sustainable solutions that will restore a healthier, happier relationship. As counselling is relatively new in India, some people feel shy and hesitant to share their intimate relationship dynamics with a third person. However, I can assure you of a neutral, non-judgmental and confidential environment in which you can find a very real and viable solution to an improved relationship and life.

 

 

What do we expect from our counseling session and what will we need to do?

To get the most out of your session, prepare your thoughts, feelings, and motives so that you are clear and focused during the session. You will not be judged for anything you say and therefore to maximize the benefits of counselling, you must be totally honest and transparent. Don’t sign up due to external pressure, because no change can take place on a deeper level if you are not committed to it. Come with an open mind and adopt a positive attitude before heading into your session. Look at your sessions with hope and optimism. They are an opportunity to heal as a couple, not as blame game and something you need to resign yourself to.

 

Trust the process and give it some time. Issues that have built over a while, also take a while to resolve. Allow your partner to speak openly without the fear of emotional or physical repercussions. This will involve setting boundaries for disagreements, so both partners feel safe to express their views. You must be willing to do this. Remember , it isn't necessary for couples to agree on everything, but it is important to learn to voice your opinions while respecting what your partner has to say.

 

Sometimes in the course of the counselling, larger issues will come up, which may have no direct connection with your relationship, but may be indirectly impacting it. These may be problems from the past, such as fear of abandonment, childhood insecurities, past emotional or physical traumas, or other deep complexes and misplaced beliefs. Be ready for this to happen, and willing to address them. Be willing to commit to working on goals that are set for you during your counseling sessions. These could vary from breaking bad habits and patterns, to spending emotionally constructive time together.

 

 

How many sessions will we need?

How many sessions you need, depends entirely on the challenges you are facing and on your unique circumstances, level of commitment and willingness to create change. Couples could need anything between 8 - 24 sessions. Sessions are usually once a week. However, in intense situations, you may need to have 2-3 sessions a week.

 

Will all our sessions happen together?

As your counsellor, my task is to identify and address the core issues of your relationship discord, as each of you may have a very different and contradictory notion about the source of your conflict. It's therefore important for me to evaluate each of you separately, prior to your first joint session. Post that, I shall formulate my assessment of the conflict and discuss the appropriate steps forward. This will be done jointly, with both of you. In some cases, especially where there is violence or addiction involved, you may be required to take a few sessions separately.  This may also be advised at some other times, depending on my assessment of the situation.

 

I am apprehensive that the counsellor may start siding with my partner. Is this a valid concern?

This is a very valid and important concern, as objectivity is an absolute must for an effective counsellor.  Rest assured, our interactions will be objectively evaluated and communicated to you. I work to help both partners recognize and understand the other person’s point of view, and my approach is in no way be influenced by personal opinions, beliefs, or value systems.

  

What can  any counsellor tell me about my relationship, that I don’t already know?

My or any counsellor's task is not to “tell” you things or give you sermons. My task is to help you unearth the truths about your relationship dynamics, enable you to step back and see your issues from another perspective, give you tools to create better communication and understanding, help you define goals within your relationship, and monitor progress as a neutral third party.

 

 

Will couples counselling fix all our relationship issue?

Like with any other therapy, couples counseling cannot fix every relationship issue. While it’s a very powerful intervention that has helped countless couples across the world, no counsellor cannot guarantee that she can “save” a  relationship. For example, couples dealing with domestic violence and substance abuse often find it very challenging to resolve their problems without added interventions such as rehab etc. That apart, couples counseling will help you learn about you and your partner'sneeds, expectations, and desires and empower you to make difficult decisions. People often learn valuable skills and a deeper knowledge of themselves that helps them deal better with other relationships as well.

 

 

What if my partner is not willing to come for counseling?

It’s very common to find one person in a relationship unwilling to seek help from a counsellor. The reasons range from denial to ego and pride issues, but does not necessarily mean that your partner is not hurting. Other common reasons people give are lack of time, and sometimes even that it’s “too expensive.” Remember, whatever the excuse or reason, gently explain to your partner that your relationship is certainly worth more than a few extra hours at work or couple of dinners, outfits, or movies.

 

Share how you are feeling with your partner. Explain that you feel your relationship is struggling, and it’s important for you to make a genuine effort to keep your relationship from falling apart. Let your partner know that you realize that you need to make changes, but it must be a two-way process and a couples counsellor will be very helpful in making you both look at your issues objectively. If your partner is still totally unwilling, then book an appointment for yourself and I can help you work through the matter.

 

Can I do it alone?

In most cases, going for counseling alone, is better than not going at all. And although you cannot change your partner, you can change yourself. Often changes that you make to improve yourself and your marriage can generate a healthy response from your partner. You may find that once you stop accusing, nagging, fighting, withholding affection, being clingy or change the root cause of your own issues, this will make way for positive changes in your partner. You can also learn to communicate better through counseling yourself, and break negative habits and patterns that may be impacting your relationship. When you feel better about your own self, it will reflect positively on your relationship.

Is it only for married and straight, heterosexual couples?

Couples counselling is effective for any couple seeking improvement in their relationship, irrespective of their marital status or sexual orientation. More and more couples are chosing to get premarital counseling, as it’s very useful in understanding one another and the expectations, and makes the transition into matrimony a lot smoother.

To get an introductory consultation

SMS "Intro Consult" 

to

(+91) 9486017700

Introductory Consultation is Free of Charge

 

If you have a question that has not been answered in the FAQs, please write to me using the form below and I shall answer it for you

LIFE COACHING

 

What will you, as a Life Coach do for me?

As your Life Coach, I will ask you powerful questions and gently nudge you on the path of self-discovery and realization. Once you know what you want to achieve, I will help you use your resources to find the solutions to your challenges, and the answers to your questions – all of which are already deep inside of you. My role is to help you extract and unveil them, using a variety of tools and techniques of self-inquiry that are necessary to visualize, verbalize and manifest what is best for your life. By using scientifically proven tools and strategies I shall help you overcome your limiting beliefs and empower you to have clarity of thought that helps you make better choices and decisions. We will thin-slice your goals and sets realistic targets for you to achieve. I shall monitor and track your progress, realign goals where needed, and help with course correction and of course, realization.

 

 

How is Life Coaching different from Counselling?

Life Coaching is for people who have goals and want to get more out of their lives. It’s a goal-oriented coaching exercise that requires the Coachee (person being coached) to complete tasks that are mutually agreed on with the Coach. While the Coach may need an understanding of the Coachee’s background in order to be optimally effective; one does not need to get into the kind of depth that is required during counselling. Life Coaching is forward moving and future-focused. The emphasis is on strategy, accountability and follow-through.

 

 

Who can benefit from Coaching?

Anyone who seeks change or improvement --- personal or professional. Who has a goal, no matter how distant. Anyone who is stuck with limiting beliefs, or believes in their dream, but does not know where to start. Students, business people, working professionals, housewives, career seekers, people on the verge of retirement, seniors can all benefit.

 

What can I seek coaching for?

You can seek coaching for almost any sphere of your life or personality where you seek improvement and want to realize a goal. Some popular aspects of life for which people seek coaching include, (but are in no way limited to) career (pre-career choices, existing career—improvement, enhancement, change),  personal development, low self esteem, bad habits, social anxiety, phobias, anger management, relationship issues, loneliness, relocation anxiety, complexes, weight management, and work-life balance amongst others.

 

Is Life Coaching confidential?

Yes, Life Coaching is completely confidential. Everything you reveal or share during your session will remain between you and me. It will never be discussed or shared with anyone. In fact, even incase, you bump into me outside of the sessions, I shall not initiate contact or conversation with you. The choice of doing so is all yours and you are under no obligation. This is to ensure that you, as my client, are never in an awkward or uncomfortable situation. 


The extraordinary exceptions are if the client is a minor (below 18 years), a victim of a serious crime, reported as missing or attempts suicide, part of a major criminal activity that has not been reported, threat to national security or if required by a court of law - for example, when the client's records have been requested for a court case. 

 

If my company is paying for coaching, how does it impact confidentiality?

You, your sponsor (the person in your organization/ personal life responsible for the coaching) and I will agree in advance about the kind of feedback required by your sponsor. Sponsors usually want updates on what's been covered, the action plan and progress. The details and frequency of these will be decided between the three concerned parties in advance. I will discuss your progress reports with you prior to the submitting these. We will mutually agree on the information that is provided. The details of what’s discussed in the coaching sessions are kept confidential. Any personal matters that may come up during such a session are kept confidential unless discussed with you first.

 

 

How does coaching work?

The number of sessions a person needs depends on each individual’s goals and requirements. The time frame and process is flexible. While most coachees find that a great deal can be achieved from 10-12 sessions, there are several clients whose goals are spread over a longer duration of time and they, therefore, chose to continue with coaching till such time that they achieve their goals.

NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)

 

How can I use NLP for Business & Professional Development?

NLP is a very impactful and effective business tool that has been widely used across organizations and businesses, often without being credited. In fact, NLP today is a huge part planning, sales, performance building, image and team building exercises. Some popular applications of NLP in business span across Sales, Marketing, HR, Senior Management and Creative teams. The benefits of NLP in Business can be derived through both group and individual sessions. The nature of these sessions can decided based on the solution you are seeking.

 

 

How can I use NLP for Personal Development?

NLP is very effective way to address personal issues and overcome patterns that don’t work well for you.  It offers a practical framework and tools that can help you disengage with negative habits, people and situations. All this happens in a safe and supportive environment and the benefits can be experienced fairly quickly.

How can I use NLP for Sports?

All across the world, NLP is now part of many professional coaching regimes in the area of sports. Professional sportsmen, amateurs, children, parents and team coaches, are using it to manage pressure and stress, build helpful mental states, access 'high performance zones,'

set and meet performance goals, change self-limiting beliefs, increase confidence and self belief, model and learn from leaders in the field, rehearse skills and performances mentally and build a fighting spirit and an erudite belief in oneself.

 

 

How can NLP help me improve my Health?

Modern day research in the field of medicine has established a clear link between thought, behaviour and health. Many behaviour patterns like negative thinking, anger, eating disorders, constant worrying and inability to handle stress have shown to have a direct impact on health. Understanding how your subconscious mind effects your body is critical to achieving better health. Your subconscious overlooks all your bodily functions and helps you heal from ill health. It manages the perfect functioning of all your organs and body parts, even while your conscious mind is asleep. Your subconscious comprises everything that you are not consciously aware of, and the information stored here is often the key to many emotional and physical problems. NLP accesses your subconscious to create lasting change. It also changes negative behaviour and thought patterns, that help improve your health.

 

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GUIDED MEDITATION

What is Meditation?

Meditation is one of the most effective techniques for mental and physical well being and its focus is on quieting the busy mind. The purpose of meditation is not to eliminate stimulus, but to guide your awareness to one healing element - one sound, word, colour, movement, thought, image, or one's breath. This creates a feeling of calmness and relaxation, along with an increased sense of mindfulness.

 

What is Guided Meditation?

Meditation is an inner journey that requires a lot of practice, patience and perseverance. It can be practised alone, in a group or with a guide. However, a large number of people find it difficult to meditate alone and find it far easier to do so with a guide. When a guide or teacher leads you through your meditative journey, it is called “Guided Meditation.” This process slowly and methodically helps you attain a meditative state of deep relaxation and inner stillness, even without any prior experience or expertise.

 

How is Guided Meditation different from just plain meditation?

The difference between guided meditation and non-guided meditation is that in the former, your guide gently leads you in and out of the meditative state. She helps you steer your awareness away from your body and towards your mind, activating your subconscious, and giving you positive suggestions and affirmations, which stay in your subconscious even after the meditation is over. The subconscious can then act on them as and when needed. Another important benefit of guided meditation is that even if you fall asleep during the meditation (which is a common occurrence), your subconscious will keep following the voice of your guide. In this way, your mind and body will still benefit from the session. The goals and benefits of both approaches are the same. It’s like climbing the Mount Everest -- You can go with or without your guide or Sherpa, but your aim will still be to reach the summit.

What are the benefits of Guided Meditation?

Guided meditation in particular (and meditation in general) is a wonderful way to manage stress. It helps your body and mind de-stress by entering a calm and relaxed state, thus promoting inner and outer wellness. The practice heals and repairs your body, on one hand, whilst also protecting it from fresh damage caused by anxiety, stress and tension. Other benefits include anger management, controlling panic attacks, depression, high blood pressure and sleeping disorders, clarity of mind, improved focus, memory enhancement, positive transformation, an enhanced state of happiness, dealing with grief and lonliness. For spiritual seekers, it helps connect with higher realms of consciousness, energy and attain the ultimate goal of enlightenment.

 

How long is each session & when will I feel the benefits?

Each session is for 45 minutes.  You may choose the number of sessions according to your needs unless you are opting for a fixed duration Intensive Meditation Programme. Some people choose to start with daily sessions for the first 10 days and then taper them to weekly or bi-weekly sessions. Others take them in a concentrated, for example in a quarterly or annual retreat. And then are those who take them regularly on extended periods of time, just like one would do with a fitness class. Sometimes the frequency depends on the reason behind taking the sessions. You will notice the benefits of Guided Meditation right from your first session onwards. However, you must practice regularly to notice the positive impact it has on your life, health and wellbeing.

What are the types of Guided Meditation?

There are varied forms of Guided Meditation. You can choose whichever one you like as each will be beneficial to you. However, if you are meditating to address a specific problem, then please consult me and I will be happy to help you find the most suitable method.